Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out

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(415): View more from California

i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i have a food baby... i think its a boy...

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.

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(847): View more from Illinois

he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?

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(509): View more from Washington

My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.

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(847): View more from Illinois

You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard

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(334): View more from Alabama

After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!

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