Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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