I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
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