Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize