So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
