I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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