Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I need moral support for this bender
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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