The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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