I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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