im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
MIDGETS
????
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
