I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
