and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
