If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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