What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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