I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
