I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
