my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize