Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
