quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
