U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
