wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
