theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
