those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize