that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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