this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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