does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
