Swine flu. Run for my life!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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