I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
