Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
