I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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