why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
