found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
