Me. At least after what I've been through.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Pooping to opera.
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