I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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