Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
