he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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