I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
