everyone is single if you try hard enough
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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