This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
