So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize