just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
