she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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