He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
