i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
