The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
This is the high leading the old right now
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
