my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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