My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
