I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
