Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
