Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
