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Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
one might say we're banned from that church
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
