Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
