It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
This is classic penis vs brain.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
