you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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