Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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