I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize