Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Help. Why am I so naked?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
