Don't make out with my wife yet
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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