Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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