If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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