Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
