Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
