my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
