We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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