My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
