the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
