Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
